Woke up, fell out of bed …

petrolgate, pastygate
petrolgate, pastygate, …

Daily Record, Thursday 29 March 2012
Queues grew at forecourts around the country yesterday as news spread of the Tories’ warnings over a threatened tanker drivers’ strike. No strike has been called and talks are planned, but there were fears that [David] Cameron and [Francis] Maude had started a wave of panic-buying that would be hard to control.

Daily Record, Thursday 29 March 2012
David Cameron claimed he loved to scoff a humble Cornish pasty yesterday as he tried to justify the Tories’ move to slap VAT on hot pies. But within hours, aides had to admit that the shop where he claimed to have bought his last pasty closed five years ago…Labour leader Ed Miliband seized on Cameron’s discomfort by visiting a branch of Greggs with Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls and Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury Rachel Reeves. They left with a £4.70 bag of sausage rolls.


About thespeedofdark

David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Category(s): Humour, Satire, Woke up, fell out of bed ...
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