Niffis and the Chemical Weapons Debacle


Morys Minor’s most watched news channel

As you know, all Chilloks are supposed to be vaccinated with compounds that neutralise their formic acid. The Naaffab leader, Keshiak, who was recently reinstated as President of the city of Niffis (behind me), has allegedly authorised the suspension of such vaccinations for his army. Furthermore, his regime has been accused of using formic acid in a raid against Muqu rebels.

If it seems strange that the Naaffabs should use these chemical weapons (that they don’t admit to having or using) at a time when they didn’t need to use them since they were winning the conflict, it’s because it’s all part of a cunning plan to stop foreign interference. It works like this: the Naaffabs deny using these intergalactically banned weapons and enter negotiations with the foreign powers who were threatening to intervene to prevent them deploying them. Using the weapons as a bargaining chip, they offer themselves for inspection in return for promises of non-intervention.

To sum up: Keshiak has persuaded the intergalactic community not to take punitive action against him for using chemical weapons, which it wouldn’t have done anyway if he hadn’t used them. And he’s achieved this by allowing weapons inspectors to inspect weapons he says he didn’t use and doesn’t have. I trust that’s all perfectly clear.

It is spoken. This is me, yukawa3, the MMBC’s Oov correspondent, signing off from the Chillok city of Niffis.

Visit MMBC News regularly for up-to-the-minute news from around the universe: intergalactic events, features and analysis from Ynonmaq Decimus, Oov, the Pale Blue Dot and all the other inhabited planets. Our mission is to get at the truth and do amazing things with it.

© MMBC (Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation)



MMBC News Menu Page

The Voyager Series

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.