THE MORTIAN LEADER
The Mortian Leader
The Mortian leader
Now well into his twilight years, the Mortian leader is believed to have been abducted from an alien planet approximately two thousand earth years ago. This is disputed by most of the inhabitants (including the leader himself), but official records show that he “arrived” on Morys Minor, by some means or other, on the Mortian date of 188.8.131.52.10.
After graduating from altoludus, he was immediately made supreme commander of the Mortian Imperial Army, despite a complete lack of military training or experience. Clearly being groomed for leadership, he was appointed successor to joking mil only a few days before the latter’s unfortunate demise at the hands of goopmutt bandits who mistook him for a plasma tag referee who had recently upset them. Initially out of favour with senior figures in the military for being effeminate and writing poems about ocean landscapes, the new leader gradually wrought himself into the affections of the Mortian people with his venerable appearance and pious demeanour. He has no name as such and is referred to simply as ‘our revered leader’. Although Mortians have nostrils, they do not have definable noses as such. Their leader, however, boasts a very prominent proboscis which has never been explained and which is politely and unfailingly ignored by everyone who comes into contact with him.
The enduring legacy of his prosperous reign is assured across the entire galaxy owing to the dramatic expansion of the Mortian space programme. During his tenure, by means of everything from the early cigar-shaped motherships to the latest in traversable wormholes, explorers from Morys Minor have peered into the very darkest recesses of the known universe. But it could have all turned out very differently. In the early period of his leadership, he commissioned, at great expense, an exploratory project to study various planets in the constellation of Tense Minor. A number of probes were launched and they all blew up before they even left Mortian atmosphere. When news of the fiasco leaked out, the leader managed to salvage his reputation by outrageously claiming the explosions had been successful missile weapon tests!
In recent years, his leadership has lapsed into inertia and his role as oracle and guiding force has diminished to the point where he can only regurgitate the contents of chinese fortune cookies abducted from Earth. Recognisable by the seaweed garlands hanging around his neck and the sickly, heavy odour of rancid oils and aromatics, he continues to appear at carefully selected public functions and intergalactic conferences and events. No longer required to sit on the more prestigious intergalactic courts, it would be fair to say that his function is now largely confined to ceremonial duties. Nevertheless, he continues to command universal respect for his apparent sagacity and unimpeachable integrity. Amid failing health and a paucity of fortune cookies, he has devoted the last part of his life to grooming Melinda Hill from Camden in London as his heir apparent.
When news of the Niffis massacre first broke on Morys Minor, its impact on the leader’s reputation was devastating, not least because he had been playing host to a delegation of chillok Muqu rebels seeking intergalactic condemnation of Naaffab atrocities. He was summoned to appear before the ICJAC (Intergalactic Court of Justice, Arbitration and Conciliation) on Lacuna to answer questions pertaining to his planet’s role in the catastrophe (a Mortian space cruiser had landed on the chillok city of Niffis, completely flattening it). His failure to apprehend the Mortian culprits, polkingbeal67 and yukawa3, had severely damaged his own reputation and laid him open to accusations of collusion and corruption. The damage was compounded by his ill-advised decision to send smolin9, a close associate of the two fleeing reprobates, in fruitless pursuit. Initially viewed as further evidence of the leader’s complicity, the ensuing tragic pantomime bore all the hallmarks of governmental incompetence and failure (and subsequently resulted in smolin9’s death).
Inframortian is the encyclopedia project covering all aspects of life on (and beyond) Morys Minor in the constellation of Cygnus.
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