The Voyager Series
The official home of the Voyager Series. Find out what happens when Voyager 1 gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...WUFOOB
woke up, fell out of bed
"I read the news today, oh boy."
A sincere and unequivocal attempt to make nonsense of a range of topical issues of the day...Short Stories
Here is a catalogue of my prose writings, including children's fiction, short stories, non-sequiturs and odd scraps of surrealism with or without a straightforward narrative. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Dark Matter
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...The Moonwalkers
The only people ever to have set foot on an astronomical object other than Earth...Featured Page
Tip Jar
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Earthwatch and Shackleton's Shed) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.Awards
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. 
I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order. -
Don't sign me up!
Tag Archives: snapshots
Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
These dolphin creatures are really quite intelligent. Within a few hours, they can train earthling humans to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish. No wonder they’re always grinning. smolin9 Previous Snapshots Menu Page
Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
Earthlings have a strange approach to warfare. Their most powerful weapons are designed not to be used. It’s called deterrence and it goes like this: groups begin stockpiling the most fearsome weapons they can possibly devise to deter any would-be … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged disarmament, nuclear deterrence.non-proliferation, smolin9, snapshots
Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
I was constantly baffled by earthlings talking about ‘taking it to the wire’ until I witnessed this strange altercation. Later, I went back to the hotel and had a similar encounter with a closet full of wire hangers. I don’t … Continue reading
Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
I knew from our research that earthlings had public baths. The emphasis on communal bathing is nevertheless surprising. I certainly didn’t expect to see compulsory public showers in the street! smolin9 Previous Next Snapshots Menu Page
Posted in Humour
Tagged smolin9, snapshots, water cannon
Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
Some earthling sports are wretchedly boring to watch. This snooker snoozer demonstrates that even playing them can be sleep-inducing! smolin9 Previous Next Snapshots Menu Page
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged pale blue dot, smolin9, snapshots, snooker snoozer
Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
The global economic crisis has forced Earthling nations to cut back on military equipment. This lot appear to be training in hand-to-hand combat after spending on their weapons arsenal was slashed. If Earthlings should prove hostile to us, I don’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged hand-to-hand combat, military budget cuts, pale blue dot, smolin9, snapshots, synchronised punching
smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
Earthlings have all this religious worship thing going on. I discussed this with polkingbeal67 and he told me they don’t know what their gods look like. This picture suggests otherwise. They sit on these handlebar cycle gods and ride around … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged Basingstoke, cycle worship, polkingbeal67, smolin9, snapshots
smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
Earthlings appear to be obsessed with balls. All sorts of balls – hard ones, soft ones, different coloured ones, misshapen ones, large ones and small ones with dimples. They seem to worship them. Yet, curiously, they’re forever indulging in idiotic … Continue reading
