The Voyager Series
The official home of the Voyager Series. Find out what happens when Voyager 1 gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...WUFOOB
woke up, fell out of bed
"I read the news today, oh boy."
A sincere and unequivocal attempt to make nonsense of a range of topical issues of the day...Short Stories
Here is a catalogue of my prose writings, including children's fiction, short stories, non-sequiturs and odd scraps of surrealism with or without a straightforward narrative. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Dark Matter
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...The Moonwalkers
The only people ever to have set foot on an astronomical object other than Earth...Featured Page
Tip Jar
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Earthwatch and Shackleton's Shed) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.Awards
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. 
I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order. -
Don't sign me up!
Tag Archives: Boris Johnson
In the Bleak Mid-lockdown
As Christmas 2020 approached, France shut its UK border amid fears of a new coronavirus variant, causing mayhem for supply chains across Europe. Nearly 4000 vehicles were held at a temporary lorry park at Manston Airport, while around 800 were … Continue reading
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Humour
Tagged border blockade, Boris Johnson, Brexit, COVID-19, Dover, lorry jam, Macron
No U-turns!
How much credibility can a government retain when it makes so many U-turns, careering from one crisis to another, lurching from one populist headline to the next, equipped with nothing but the flimsiest of straplines and slogans for brakes?
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Humour, Opinion
Tagged Boris Johnson, government U-turns
I’m Under House Arrest?! For how long?
I never thought I’d echo a thought expressed by Donald Trump, of all people, but if we’re effectively under house arrest, maybe we should be worrying about the cure for coronavirus being worse than the disease? Draconian restrictions of liberty … Continue reading
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Opinion
Tagged Boris Johnson, coronavirus, COVID-19, herd immunity, ISS, lockdown, NHS, pandemic, PPE, social distancing
Woke up, fell out of bed …
The Times, 8th November 2017 Boris Johnson has conceded he “could have been clearer” in remarks he made about a British woman jailed in Iran that threaten to extend her imprisonment. The foreign secretary today clarified his comments, but stopped … Continue reading
Posted in Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Boris Johnson, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Royal Yacht Britannia to be recommissioned as symbol of global Britain Daily Mail, Friday 16th September 2016 Royal Yacht Britannia could be used to conduct UK trade deals post Brexit and plans are already being discussed to recommission the vessel … Continue reading
Posted in Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Boris Johnson, Royal Yacht Britannia
Woke up, fell out of bed …
EU makes net migration target ‘impossible’ BBC News, Thursday 12th May 2016 Figures show 1.2m more EU migrants have got National Insurance numbers in the past five years than have shown up in immigration statistics. Boris Johnson has attacked the … Continue reading
Posted in Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Boris Johnson, David Cameron, EU migrants, immigration pledge, tens of thousands
Woke up, fell out of bed …
The EU’s tentacles reach into every aspect of our lives Telegraph, Monday 22nd February 2016 Boris Johnson – “We are seeing a slow and invisible process of legal colonisation, as the EU infiltrates just about every area of public policy. … Continue reading
Posted in Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Boris Johnson, Brexit, EU Referendum, legal colonisation
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Boris Johnson reaches new heights of popularity Daily Telegraph, Tuesday 9 October 2012 Boris Johnson’s reception this week at Birmingham New Street Station was near-ecstatic – hundreds of activists cheering, “Bo-ris! Bo-ris!” as he got off the train. It’s hard … Continue reading
Striving for another PB
Gold, gold, gold. In the space of 45 magical minutes during one athletics session last Saturday, Team GB claimed the top of the Olympic podium on no less than three occasions. Greg Rutherford, Jessica Ennis and Mo Farah were faster, … Continue reading
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Olympics closing ceremony – all bets are now off! BBC, Wednesday 1 August 2012 The Mayor of London Boris Johnson is left dangling on a zip wire for several minutes when it stops working at an Olympic live screen event. … Continue reading
Posted in Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged BBC, Boris Johnson, dangling Boris, Mayor of London, Olympics closing ceremony, Sky News, zipwire
