Multiverse


Multiverse

Multiverse is a volume of nonsense verse with themes ranging from cosmology and philosophical questions about the nature of the universe… to mince pies and listening for worms.

If you were a clownfish, swimming languidly and contentedly amongst the anemones on a coral reef, you would assume that the charming ecosystem you inhabit is the entire universe. But suppose a diver with a net appears and lifts you out of the ocean. You see creatures you’ve never seen before. You see boats and a coastline and the sky above. Suddenly it dawns on you that your world is just a small part of a larger macrocosm. A much larger and weirder macrocosm than you could ever have imagined in your wildest dreams.

And what if there is a parallel universe in which clownfish are keen on tennis and frequently speak in rhyme? And what if this isn’t a hypothetical question?

Paperback:
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Ebook:
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David Winship’s Smashwords Author Profile

Posted in Humour, Nonsense Tagged , , , ,

Forsaking the Poppy

Poppy

It may seem natural to feel an allegiance with those who happen to occupy the same bit of the earth’s crust as you do, but that allegiance is purely arbitrary and, of course, divisive. This is obviously controversial, but, as Samuel Johnson opined, isn’t patriotism “the last refuge of a scoundrel”? Isn’t it often synonymous with racism and chauvinism? Isn’t it indeed, to some degree, the opiate of the masses?

Perhaps the time has come for us to envision a new era of humanity, moving from competing nation states to the flourishing of a multi-cultural planetary civilisation.

As Remembrance Day approaches,
Do you think it’s impolite
To decline to wear a poppy?
Is it wrong or is it right?

Having died in the line of duty,
Where poppies now abound,
Those men of Flanders fields deserve
To hear the bugles sound.

But does it just perpetuate
The jingoistic crap
That fuels these senseless conflicts
And holds humanity back?

Will soldiers have died for nothing
And will warfare ever cease,
If we hold a minute’s silence
And our thoughts don’t turn to peace?

Plucking the poppies from our coats
Is not really breaking faith;
It might just serve to help us
To create a world that’s safe.

Posted in Dark Mutterings, Opinion, Personal, Quotes Tagged

The Moon Pigeon (audiobook)

The audiobook speaks for itself! 😜…

It’s one giant hop for pigeonkind!

Available Now…. on Audible, Amazon and iTunes!



The Moon Pigeon (audiobook)

A curious incident occurred during the 1969 Apollo 10 moon mission. A white object, later dubbed a ‘moon pigeon’, was filmed moving above the moon’s surface below the spacecraft. An official NASA report entitled “Moon pigeons and other unidentified visual phenomena associated with space flight”, published in 1970, attributed the Apollo 10 ‘moon pigeon’ to either a piece of ice or a reflection from the window of the spacecraft.

This is the story of a pigeon named Phoebe Featherbelle, who met a NASA scientist and set out to discover the truth about the incident.

What happened to her is described by a pair of Trafalgar Square pigeons.

The audiobook features the vocal talents of Siobhan Dowd

Click here to purchase from Amazon UK
Click here to purchase from Amazon US
Click here to purchase from Audible UK
Click here to purchase from Audible US

Also available from iTunes!

Posted in Humour, Story Tagged , , ,

Free ebook!



Through The Wormhole, Literally

What would happen if aliens discovered the Voyager space probe?


The ebook version of ‘Through The Wormhole, Literally’ is currently available FREE from Smashwords. Use the code SW79C at checkout (offer good throughout August 2019)…

The Voyager 1 space probe was launched by NASA on September 5, 1977, to study the outer solar system and, ultimately, interstellar space. It carried a gold-plated audio-visual disc in the event that it might be found by intelligent life-forms from other planetary systems. The record contained photos of the Earth and its life-forms, spoken greetings from people including the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter, and a medley of sounds from Earth, including whales, a baby crying, waves breaking on a shore and music, including works by Mozart and Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”. It was discovered by goopmutt bandits who towed it through interstellar space at superluminal speed. In an effort to conceal their crime, they manipulated the data on the craft’s digital tape recorder and left it in the heliosphere where its signal could still be picked up from Earth. Eventually, they abandoned the probe in the Centaurus galaxy where it was picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from a small circumbinary planet known as Morys Minor.

The discovery of the golden record attached to the Voyager probe raised expectations of harmonious relations between inhabitants of the two planets, so one of the spacecombers who discovered it, smolin9, was dispatched by wormhole to Earth to investigate the planet and determine its suitability for colonisation. However, following extensive study, the Mortians decided the planet exceeded volatility thresholds and deemed it unsuitable. During smolin9’s brief sojourn on Earth, he met life coach, Melinda Hill of Camden in London. This story charts the events arising from this encounter.

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Posted in Humour, Story, Voyager Series Tagged , , ,

Reinstate Pluto!

Pluto (and Charon)This enhanced colour image of Pluto and its moon, Charon, was taken by NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft in July 2015.

Pluto was discovered and classified as a planet in 1930, when astronomer Clyde Tombaugh of the Lowell Observatory examined photographic plates of the sky and noticed a tiny dot against the backdrop of stars. The name “Pluto” was proposed by 11-year-old English schoolgirl, Venetia Burney.

But, in July 2005, astronomers found the distant object, Eris, which was thought to be larger than Pluto. The discovery prompted the awkward question: if Pluto is a planet, shouldn’t Eris be considered a planet too? And what about all the other icy objects out in the Kuiper belt? In August 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) ruled that Pluto should be demoted to the status of ‘dwarf planet’.

Pluto is smaller than the Earth’s moon, with an orbit that is so eccentric that it crosses the orbit of Neptune and actually gets closer to the sun than Neptune for 20 of its 248-year-long trip. Nevertheless, it is a complex world of oceans, mountains and glaciers. Scientists have found evidence of ammonia on its surface, making it likely that an underground ocean exists. The presence of ammonia is exciting, because it is a significant precursor to prebiotic chemistry, including the formation of amino acids and a whole bunch of other biologically interesting chemicals.

Pluto should be swiftly reinstated as a planet. Not least because we can then revive the highly useful mnemonic for remembering the order of the planets in our solar system: My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets!

Posted in Matter, Opinion, Science Tagged , , , , , , , ,

The Moon Pigeon (audiobook sample)

The Moon Pigeon

One giant hop for pigeonkind!

Available Now…. on Audible, Amazon and iTunes!



The Moon Pigeon (audiobook)

A curious incident occurred during the 1969 Apollo 10 moon mission. A white object, later dubbed a ‘moon pigeon’, was filmed moving above the moon’s surface below the spacecraft. An official NASA report entitled “Moon pigeons and other unidentified visual phenomena associated with space flight”, published in 1970, attributed the Apollo 10 ‘moon pigeon’ to either a piece of ice or a reflection from the window of the spacecraft.

This is the story of a pigeon named Phoebe Featherbelle, who met a NASA scientist and set out to discover the truth about the incident.

What happened to her is described by a pair of Trafalgar Square pigeons.

The audiobook features the vocal talents of Siobhan Dowd

Click here to purchase from Amazon UK
Click here to purchase from Amazon US
Click here to purchase from Audible UK
Click here to purchase from Audible US

Also available from iTunes!

Posted in Humour, Nonsense, Story Tagged , , , , ,

The Moon Pigeon (audiobook)



The Moon Pigeon (audiobook)


The audiobook is available now!

A curious incident occurred during the 1969 Apollo 10 moon mission. A white object, later dubbed a ‘moon pigeon’, was filmed moving above the moon’s surface below the spacecraft. An official NASA report entitled “Moon pigeons and other unidentified visual phenomena associated with space flight”, published in 1970, attributed the Apollo 10 ‘moon pigeon’ to either a piece of ice or a reflection from the window of the spacecraft.

This is the story of a pigeon named Phoebe Featherbelle, who met a NASA scientist and set out to discover the truth about the incident.

What happened to her is described by a pair of Trafalgar Square pigeons.

The audiobook features the vocal talents of Siobhan Dowd


The Moon Pigeon

Click here to order the paperback.

Click here to order the kindle edition.

Posted in Humour, Story Tagged , , , ,

Hitler and the Reichstag Fire

Reichstag FireOn 27 February 1933, pedestrians near the Reichstag heard the sound of breaking glass and witnessed flames erupting from the German parliament building. It took fire fighters several hours to extinguish the fire, which ultimately destroyed the debating chamber and the Reichstag’s gilded cupola, causing over $1 million in damage.

Some say the arson was a Nazi plot to frame the Communists. It certainly led to legislation that allowed the Nazis the means to seize power…

Click here for the full story.

Posted in Dark Mutterings Tagged , ,

The Moon Pigeon


The Moon Pigeon

A curious incident occurred during the 1969 Apollo 10 moon mission. A white object, later dubbed a ‘moon pigeon’, was filmed moving above the moon’s surface below the spacecraft. An official NASA report entitled “Moon pigeons and other unidentified visual phenomena associated with space flight”, published in 1970, attributed the Apollo 10 ‘moon pigeon’ to either a piece of ice or a reflection from the window of the spacecraft.

This is the story of a pigeon named Phoebe Featherbelle, who met a NASA scientist and set out to discover the truth about the incident.

What happened to her is described by a pair of Trafalgar Square pigeons.


The Moon Pigeon

Click here to order the paperback.

Click here to order the kindle edition.

Posted in Humour, Story, Uncategorized Tagged , ,

Win a Copy of Could Have Been Verse


ANTidote

Could Have Been Verse is a book of nonsense. This stuff isn’t rare. It’s certainly not well done. And to call it poetry would be an insult to the medium.

Click here for a chance to win a FREE copy

Click here to purchase the paperback version from Amazon

Click here to purchase the Kindle version from Amazon

Posted in Humour, Nonsense Tagged , ,