Earthwatch

The Olympic Games
Presented by polkingbeal67 & smolin9


Earthwatch
Earthwatch presenters – polkingbeal67 & smolin9
“Join us to watch human life unfold on the Pale Blue Dot.”

MMBC Earthwatch
Highlights, interviews and analysis from Earth’s media
After teething problems involving the G4S security firm’s failure to provide enough staff for the event, Friday July 27th saw the start of the Games of the 30th Olympiad with the opening ceremony taking place at the Olympic Stadium in London.

The World Badminton Federation charged eight female players with misconduct on Wednesday after four Olympic doubles teams had attempted to “throw” matches to secure a more favourable draw later in the tournament. The pairs were charged with “not using one’s best efforts to win a match”. China’s long-serving head coach Li Yongbo told reporters: “This is nothing. It was just a game.”

polkingbeal67: I hear our revered leader sent you on a special mission to the Pale Blue Dot to investigate the Olympic Games.
smolin9: Yes. He wanted to know why Earthlings attach so much importance to strange activities like running round in circles, throwing spears, jumping into sandpits and losing at badminton.
polkingbeal67: Did you acquire any insights?
smolin9: It was too difficult to get in. I didn’t have tickets. I tried to trick my way in as a journalist, but my MMBC accreditation was refused. I disguised myself as a G4S security officer, tucked a roll of barbed wire under my arm and told them I was on the fencing team. But they said that was an old joke and anyway I couldn’t be a G4S employee because both of them had already turned up. My attempts to pass off as an athlete also failed miserably.
polkingbeal67: Do tell.
smolin9: Well, I think I picked the wrong name. When I said I was Sir Vanessa Redgrave, some of them laughed and others tried to arrest me.
polkingbeal67: You crazy prokaryote! Didn’t you find out anything? Didn’t you interview any of the participants?
smolin9: I eventually got access to the rowing event at Eton Dorney but I had a bit of a mishap when I tried to interview the winners.
polkingbeal67: What happened?
smolin9: The water was too deep.

 

© MMBC (Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation)

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See also:
The Wormhole Reports
Smolin9’s Snapshots

About thespeedofdark

David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Category(s): Earthwatch, Humour, Oblique, Sport
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