loo roll

When I get bored in lockdown,
And feel my patience ebb,
I gossip with a spider
I discovered on the web.

I try to do some yoga
(But cannot cross my legs),
Make castles out of loo rolls,
Draw faces on the eggs.

When people speak of furlough,
I wonder what they mean.
Is it something like probation?
Or a place near Cookham Dean?

I forget my mask in Tesco
And use a bag instead.
Twice this week I’ve passed out
Before I’ve reached the bread.

I watch TV and laze around,
And, if the truth be told,
Most of my ‘new normal’
Is rather like the old.

When the R number tumbles
And Covid goes away,
We’ll reflect how 2020
Led us all so much astray.

About thespeedofdark

David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

Amazon Author Page

Category(s): Humour, Nonsense
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