The Voyager Series
The official home of the Voyager Series. Find out what happens when Voyager 1 gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...
woke up, fell out of bed
"I read the news today, oh boy."
A sincere and unequivocal attempt to make nonsense of a range of topical issues of the day...
Here is a catalogue of my prose writings, including children's fiction, short stories, non-sequiturs and odd scraps of surrealism with or without a straightforward narrative. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...
Raising a racket at Upper Gummtrey Tennis Club...
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Earthwatch and Shackleton's Shed) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order.
This is just to draw your attention to a totally awesome feature of this blog. A random aphorism/one-liner/quote now appears at the top of the page AND, if you click on it, you get another one!! Too much of a good thing can be truly wonderful!
Don't sign me up!
Category Archives: Humour
Captain Tom He raised thirty million for the NHS, Walking round his garden in his Sunday best. With a spring in his step and a song in the charts, He lit up the lockdown And won our hearts. He found … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense, Story Tagged Captain Sir Tom, Captain Tom, lockdown, NHS, Tom Moore
Red Ribbon Winner
“A wonderfully eclectic set of poetry written by a very talented poet. A RED RIBBON WINNER and highly recommended.” The Wishing Shelf Book Awards If you were a clownfish, swimming languidly and contentedly amongst the anemones on a coral reef, … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Personal Tagged Multiverse, nonsense verse, poetry, Red Ribbon Winner, Wishing Shelf Awards
A deadly virus sweeps the world, forcing many into lockdown. The lives of ordinary people are changed forever. At times irreverent, at times absurd, at times sombre, but at all times Coronaverse is an honest (okay, harebrained) attempt to find … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense Tagged coronavirus, COVID-19, humour, lockdown, nonsense poems, nonsense verse, pandemic, poetry
Granny Cradock Cooks For Christmas
This short video was produced during a StrikeUp Theatre comedy workshop for the over 70s using Zoom. The premise is as follows: The BBC plans to devote a special night of programming to Christmas nostalgia, including a remake of ‘Fanny … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Personal Tagged Fanny Cradock, Granny Cradock, Rachel Mary, Rachel Taylor, StrikeUp Theatre
In the Bleak Mid-lockdown
As Christmas 2020 approached, France shut its UK border amid fears of a new coronavirus variant, causing mayhem for supply chains across Europe. Nearly 4000 vehicles were held at a temporary lorry park at Manston Airport, while around 800 were … Continue reading
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Humour Tagged border blockade, Boris Johnson, Brexit, COVID-19, Dover, lorry jam, Macron
When I get bored in lockdown, And feel my patience ebb, I gossip with a spider I discovered on the web. I try to do some yoga (But cannot cross my legs), Make castles out of loo rolls, Draw faces … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense Tagged coronavirus, facemasks, furlough, lockdown, new normal, pandemic, Tesco
How much credibility can a government retain when it makes so many U-turns, careering from one crisis to another, lurching from one populist headline to the next, equipped with nothing but the flimsiest of straplines and slogans for brakes?
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Humour, Opinion Tagged Boris Johnson, government U-turns
“The important thing is to have a target.”
Deadlines make headlines. Whether the Health Secretary’s target gets met or not, all the attention on the target will serve as a smokescreen, distracting the public from the truth that far too few tests were carried out during the first … Continue reading
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Humour, Opinion, Personal, Science or Pasta Tagged COVID-19, pandemic, testing kits, virus tests
I’ve been buying only essentials And obeying the government rules. I’ve been doing the clapping for carers And plenty of video calls. I’ve run out of pasta and loo rolls And queued at the chemist for meds. I’ve done quizzes … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense Tagged coronavirus, COVID-19, lockdown, nonsense poems, nonsense verse
Wishing Shelf Book Awards
The Moon Pigeon has been shortlisted as one of the 2019 FINALISTS in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. The children’s books were read and judged by children in 8 UK primary and secondary schools, the adult books by 2 Reading … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Story Tagged book, children's book, humorous book, The Wishing Shelf Awards