The Voyager Series
The official home of the Voyager Series. Find out what happens when Voyager 1 gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...
woke up, fell out of bed
"I read the news today, oh boy."
A sincere and unequivocal attempt to make nonsense of a range of topical issues of the day...
Here is a catalogue of my prose writings, including children's fiction, short stories, non-sequiturs and odd scraps of surrealism with or without a straightforward narrative. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...
Raising a racket at Upper Gummtrey Tennis Club...
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Earthwatch and Shackleton's Shed) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order.
This is just to draw your attention to a totally awesome feature of this blog. A random aphorism/one-liner/quote now appears at the top of the page AND, if you click on it, you get another one!! Too much of a good thing can be truly wonderful!
Don't sign me up!
Category Archives: Good planets are hard to find
“Invasion of almost 200 billion daddy-long-legs on the way, warn experts!” says the Telegraph. “A record 200 billion daddy-long-legs are set to hatch this autumn and experts are warning the warm weather will see the insects spread further across the … Continue reading
Western political leaders will indulge in the usual orgy of mutual backslapping as the Paris climate summit winds to a close next week. They’ll bask in their success and make lofty promises of further carbon emission reductions as part of … Continue reading
The number of migrants trying to get into the Eurotunnel terminal near Calais has fallen dramatically in the last week or so following the installation of new fences and the introduction of extra security guards. The impact on the haulage … Continue reading
This Sunday, residents of a small city in southern China will be holding their annual dog-meat festival. Determined to maintain the unique tradition of holding a summer solstice canine banquet, the people of Yulin, a city in China’s Guangxi province, … Continue reading
Prime Minister David Cameron has announced a review into why so few anti-microbial drugs have been licensed for use in recent times. No new classes of antibiotic drugs have come on the market for more than 25 years, and the … Continue reading
David Cameron and the Environment Secretary, Owen Paterson, have been rather disingenuous in their response to fierce criticism in the wake of severe flooding on the Somerset Levels. Implying that the disastrous neglect of flood defences is purely a funding … Continue reading
The practice of bear bile farming is an anachronistic abomination that should be outlawed immediately. The use of bear bile in traditional Asian medicine dates back to the Tang Dynasty (A.D. 618-907) when the bile was acquired by killing Asiatic … Continue reading
Here in the UK, CO2 emissions fell by 19% between 1990 and 2008, but our carbon footprint, based on what we actually consume, grew by 20%. ‘How is that possible?’, I hear you ask. Well, it’s a bit like a … Continue reading
An elephant’s tusk is embedded several inches into its head. To extract it completely means hacking off a large chunk of the animal’s face, jaw and skull. It is possible to trim the tusks without killing it (circus elephants often … Continue reading