The Voyager Series
The official home of the Voyager Series. Find out what happens when Voyager 1 gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...WUFOOB
woke up, fell out of bed
"I read the news today, oh boy."
A sincere and unequivocal attempt to make nonsense of a range of topical issues of the day...Short Stories
Here is a catalogue of my prose writings, including children's fiction, short stories, non-sequiturs and odd scraps of surrealism with or without a straightforward narrative. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Dark Matter
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...The Moonwalkers
The only people ever to have set foot on an astronomical object other than Earth...Featured Page
Tip Jar
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Earthwatch and Shackleton's Shed) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.Awards
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. 
I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order. -
Don't sign me up!
Category Archives: Nonsense
Captain Tom
Captain Tom He raised thirty million for the NHS, Walking round his garden in his Sunday best. With a spring in his step and a song in the charts, He lit up the lockdown And won our hearts. He found … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense, Story
Tagged Captain Sir Tom, Captain Tom, lockdown, NHS, Tom Moore
Coronaverse
A deadly virus sweeps the world, forcing many into lockdown. The lives of ordinary people are changed forever. At times irreverent, at times absurd, at times sombre, but at all times Coronaverse is an honest (okay, harebrained) attempt to find … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged coronavirus, COVID-19, humour, lockdown, nonsense poems, nonsense verse, pandemic, poetry
Coronaverse
When I get bored in lockdown, And feel my patience ebb, I gossip with a spider I discovered on the web. I try to do some yoga (But cannot cross my legs), Make castles out of loo rolls, Draw faces … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged coronavirus, facemasks, furlough, lockdown, new normal, pandemic, Tesco
Lockdown Blues
I’ve been buying only essentials And obeying the government rules. I’ve been doing the clapping for carers And plenty of video calls. I’ve run out of pasta and loo rolls And queued at the chemist for meds. I’ve done quizzes … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged coronavirus, COVID-19, lockdown, nonsense poems, nonsense verse
Multiverse
Multiverse is a volume of nonsense verse with themes ranging from cosmology and philosophical questions about the nature of the universe… to mince pies and listening for worms. If you were a clownfish, swimming languidly and contentedly amongst the anemones … Continue reading
Free ebook!
What would happen if aliens discovered the Voyager space probe? The ebook version of ‘Through The Wormhole, Literally’ is currently available FREE from Smashwords. Use the code SW79C at checkout (offer good throughout August 2019)… The Voyager 1 space probe … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Story, Voyager Series
Tagged humorous book, smashwords, Through The Wormhole Literally, Voyager
The Moon Pigeon (audiobook sample)
The Moon Pigeon One giant hop for pigeonkind! Available Now…. on Audible, Amazon and iTunes! A curious incident occurred during the 1969 Apollo 10 moon mission. A white object, later dubbed a ‘moon pigeon’, was filmed moving above the moon’s … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense, Story
Tagged Apollo 10, audiobook, children's story, humour, Siobhan Dowd, The Moon Pigeon
Win a Copy of Could Have Been Verse
Could Have Been Verse is a book of nonsense. This stuff isn’t rare. It’s certainly not well done. And to call it poetry would be an insult to the medium. Click here for a chance to win a FREE copy … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged nonsense verse, poems, poetry
Smashwords Free Ebooks
A series of humorous books, based on what might happen following the discovery of one of the Voyager golden records by extraterrestrials in outer space, is now available as part of Smashwords’ 10th annual Smashwords Read an Ebook Sale. From … Continue reading
Posted in Story, Voyager Series
Tagged ebook, free ebook, humorous book, humorous story, smashwords
My cousin is a fungi
According to the phylogenetic tree, the groups most closely related to animals are slime moulds and fungi. We share about 30 percent of our DNA with mushrooms and toadstools, far more than we share with plants! Well, how can it … Continue reading
