Smolin9’s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot


Drench warfare

Earthlings have a strange approach to warfare. Their most powerful weapons are designed not to be used. It’s called deterrence and it goes like this: groups begin stockpiling the most fearsome weapons they can possibly devise to deter any would-be adversaries. Then they all get frightened and sign a treaty promising to work towards complete disarmament. And then I suppose it all starts again. Still, in theory, no one ever gets hurt.

What I don’t understand is this: if deterrence is about making sure that everyone knows you have a weapon, why do most of them try to keep it secret?

So it’s possible they’re totally mad and deluded, but I think they’re basically peaceful creatures. Baby earthlings are trained to use water pistols so that when they’re fully grown they can deploy the weapons shown in this picture. Some groups have now upgraded to water cannons. I assume all these weapons are harmless – according to my research, earthlings are not soluble in water.

smolin9



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About thespeedofdark

David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Category(s): Humour, Nonsense
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