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Niffis and the Chemical Weapons Debacle

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As you know, all Chilloks are supposed to be vaccinated with compounds that neutralise their formic acid. The Naaffab leader, Keshiak, who was recently reinstated as President of the city of Niffis (behind me), has allegedly authorised the suspension of such vaccinations for his army. Furthermore, his regime has been accused of using formic acid in a raid against Muqu rebels.

If it seems strange that the Naaffabs should use these chemical weapons (that they don’t admit to having or using) at a time when they didn’t need to use them since they were winning the conflict, it’s because it’s all part of a cunning plan to stop foreign interference. It works like this: the Naaffabs deny using these intergalactically banned weapons and enter negotiations with the foreign powers who were threatening to intervene to prevent them deploying them. Using the weapons as a bargaining chip, they offer themselves for inspection in return for promises of non-intervention.

To sum up: Keshiak has persuaded the intergalactic community not to take punitive action against him for using chemical weapons, which it wouldn’t have done anyway if he hadn’t used them. And he’s achieved this by allowing weapons inspectors to inspect weapons he says he didn’t use and doesn’t have. I trust that’s all perfectly clear.

It is spoken. This is me, yukawa3, the MMBC’s Oov correspondent, signing off from the Chillok city of Niffis.

Visit MMBC News regularly for up-to-the-minute news from around the universe: intergalactic events, features and analysis from Ynonmaq Decimus, Oov, the Pale Blue Dot and all the other inhabited planets. Our mission is to get at the truth and do amazing things with it.

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David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

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