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The Battle of Niffis

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To the untrained eye, the towering city of Niffis behind me may look peaceful enough, but violence erupted again during the night and many Chilloks sought to escape the chaos that broke out in the labyrinths yesterday by jumping from the complex ventilated city structure.

And so, another night, another outbreak of brutal sectarian violence in the power struggle between Naaffabs and the Muqu minority on the planet of Oov. Around midnight, Muqu rebel fighters stormed Naaffab sleeping chambers and shouted slogans calling their enemies aishiwas (renouncers). In retaliation, the Naaffabs have been shaking their antennae and chanting the word ‘ramubakh’ (meaning ‘reprobate’) at the Muqu population. Once again, this has highlighted the widening Naaffab-Muqu divide. The historical background to this conflict started with the death, in the ninth baktun, of the great Chillok potentate, Da’Qunaa. Muqus and Naaffabs both preach peace and understanding and devotion to their god, but Muqus believe in a literal interpretation of Da’Qunaa’s admonition against wearing antenna rings, whereas Naaffabs have adopted a more liberal outlook.

The Chillok news agency reported that 79 Naaffabs and 32 Muqus have been killed in the clashes. Visual evidence of the violence is all around us here. Severed antennae lie in heaps at the foot of the city. The Chilloks have allowed observers and journalists free movement. In fact, our reception has been excellent. We are expecting a signal from the presidents of the Intergalactic Commission and the Oov Council condemning the violence.

It is spoken. This is me, yukawa3, the MMBC’s Oov correspondent, signing off from the Chillok city of Niffis.

Visit MMBC News regularly for up-to-the-minute news from around the universe: intergalactic events, features and analysis from Ynonmaq Decimus, Oov, the Pale Blue Dot and all the other inhabited planets. Our mission is to get at the truth and do amazing things with it.

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David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

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