The Wormhole Reports
The official home of the Wormhole Reports. Find out what happened when Voyager 1 got picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...Man Flu
A deadly epidemic of Man Flu starts claiming the lives of birds in the West Hill dominion. A magpie known as Pica Pica identifies the problem, but no one believes him...
My next book will be the ultimate key to the map of life, a jeweled window to the soul of mankind, an illuminating journey through the complexities and mysteries of the human condition. In the meantime, just make do with this story about little birdies.Earthwatch
The official page for Earthwatch, the MMBC series which charts the fortunes of the inhabitants of Earth during their annual trip around the star they couldn't be bothered to name in a solar system they also couldn't be bothered to name...Slightly Surreal
Here is a collection of short pieces of prose, including non sequiturs and slightly skewed surrealist stories. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Dark Matter
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...Children’s Stories
If reading stories is medicine for the soul, it certainly doesn't apply to these stories. Unless you're a hypochondriac. Your ID may be required to check your age...The Moonwalkers
The only people ever to have set foot on an astronomical object other than Earth...Featured Page
Tip Jar
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Man Flu and the children's stories) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.Awards
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. 
I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order. -
Don't sign me up!
Tag Archives: polkingbeal67
Smolin9 appears in print!
Find out what happens when the Voyager 1 space probe gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor… The paperback version of The Wormhole Reports is now available from Amazon: Order your copy now! If you’re not sure … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Wormhole Reports
Tagged Amazon, paperback, polkingbeal67, smolin9, The Wormhole Reports
Earthwatch
Neanderthal Cloning Presented by polkingbeal67 & smolin9 Earthwatch presenters – polkingbeal67 & smolin9 “Join us to watch human life unfold on the Pale Blue Dot.” MMBC Earthwatch Highlights, interviews and analysis from Earth’s media (Jan 2013) A genetics professor of … Continue reading
Posted in Earthwatch, Humour, Nonsense, Science
Tagged cancer, car alarms, cell division, cloning, designer genes, DNA, Earthwatch, genetic engineering, Harvard School of Medicine, HIV, Human Genome Project, MMBC, Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation, Neanderthal, pale blue dot, polkingbeal67, Professor George Church, ringtones, smolin9
Neanderthal Cloning
Posted in
Tagged cancer, car alarms, cell division, cloning, designer genes, DNA, Earthwatch, genetic engineering, Harvard School of Medicine, HIV, Human Genome Project, MMBC, Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation, Neanderthal, pale blue dot, polkingbeal67, Professor George Church, ringtones, smolin9
Earthwatch
The End Of The 13th Baktun Presented by polkingbeal67 & smolin9 Earthwatch presenters – polkingbeal67 & smolin9 “Join us to watch human life unfold on the Pale Blue Dot.” MMBC Earthwatch Highlights, interviews and analysis from Earth’s media (Dec 2012) … Continue reading
Posted in Earthwatch, Humour, Nonsense
Tagged baktun, Earthwatch, Long Count, Mayan Apocalypse, Mayan calendar, MMBC, Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation, pale blue dot, polkingbeal67, smolin9
The End Of The 13th Baktun
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Tagged baktun, Earthwatch, Long Count, Mayan Apocalypse, Mayan calendar, MMBC, Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation, pale blue dot, polkingbeal67, smolin9
Greetings from Earth! Have you eaten yet?
The Speed Of Dark’s contribution to Christmas 2012 is a new short story called Santa Comes Down The Wormhole featuring our cherished aliens, smolin9 and polkingbeal67. One of my favourite bits is where smolin9 and polkingbeal67 listen to the greetings … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense, Science, Story
Tagged Amoy, Annie Druyan, Carl Sagan, golden record, Jimmy Carter, Kurt Waldheim, NASA, polkingbeal67, smolin9, Voyager, Xmas story
Santa Comes Down The Wormhole
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Tagged biomimetic mutator, Chuck Berry, crop circles, furby, golden record, Hagwink, Jimmy Carter, Lego, microwocky, Morys Minor, NASA, oryx, polkingbeal67, Rubik's Cube, Santa Claus, smolin9, Voyager 1, wallaby, wormhole
Earthwatch
Voyager 1 Presented by polkingbeal67 & smolin9 Earthwatch presenters – polkingbeal67 & smolin9 “Join us to watch human life unfold on the Pale Blue Dot.” MMBC Earthwatch Highlights, interviews and analysis from Earth’s media (Oct 2012) 35 years after leaving … Continue reading
Posted in Earthwatch, Humour, Science
Tagged Blind Willie Johnson, California Institute of Technology, Centaurus galaxy, Earthwatch, Michael Minovitch, MMBC, Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation, Navajo, pale blue dot, Photopolarimeter System, polkingbeal67, PPS, quantum theory, smolin9, three body problem, Voyager 1, Voyager 2
Voyager 1
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Tagged Blind Willie Johnson, California Institute of Technology, Centaurus galaxy, Earthwatch, Michael Minovitch, MMBC, Morys Minor Broadcasting Corporation, Navajo, pale blue dot, Photopolarimeter System, polkingbeal67, PPS, quantum theory, smolin9, three body problem, Voyager 1, Voyager 2
smolin9′s snapshots from the Pale Blue Dot
Earthlings have all this religious worship thing going on. I discussed this with polkingbeal67 and he told me they don’t know what their gods look like. This picture suggests otherwise. They sit on these handlebar cycle gods and ride around … Continue reading
Posted in Humour, Nonsense
Tagged Basingstoke, cycle worship, polkingbeal67, smolin9, snapshots
