The Wormhole Series
The official home of the Wormhole Series. Find out what happens when Voyager 1 gets picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor...Man Flu
A deadly epidemic of Man Flu starts claiming the lives of birds in the West Hill dominion. A magpie known as Pica Pica identifies the problem, but no one believes him...Short Stories
Here is a catalogue of my prose writings, including children's fiction, short stories, non-sequiturs and odd scraps of surrealism with or without a straightforward narrative. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
Dark Matter
Scientists are racing to find dark matter in the universe. You may find some of it here in the form of conspiracy theories, dark secrets, sinister and bizarre tales...The Moonwalkers
The only people ever to have set foot on an astronomical object other than Earth...Featured Page
Tip Jar
The downloads on this site (e.g. pdf versions of Earthwatch and Shackleton's Shed) are free. If you would like to donate a small sum of money to be invested in the upkeep of the site then please scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on the 'Donate' button. Somebody sometime has got to make money from the internet. Let it be me.Awards
This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever. 
I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order. -
Don't sign me up!
Tag Archives: Daily Telegraph
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Boris Johnson reaches new heights of popularity Daily Telegraph, Tuesday 9 October 2012 Boris Johnson’s reception this week at Birmingham New Street Station was near-ecstatic – hundreds of activists cheering, “Bo-ris! Bo-ris!” as he got off the train. It’s hard … Continue reading
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Daily Telegraph, Friday 27 July 2012 The case for a new dynamic between farmers and retailers… “People are starting to appreciate the significant differences between supermarkets when it comes to their relationships with British farmers,” says Justin King , CEO … Continue reading
Posted in Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Daily Telegraph, dairy farmers, J Sainsbury PLC, Justin King, price of milk, retailers
The truth, according to science
According to the BBC, the Dutch team competing against Portugal in Euro 2012 enjoyed 56% possession of the ball and managed 529 passes compared to their opponents’ mediocre tally of 349. Of those passes, Holland achieved a success rate of … Continue reading
Posted in Nonsense, Oblique, Opinion
Tagged Bayern Munich, BBC, Champions League, Chelsea, Daily Telegraph, Didier Drogba, Euro 2012, Fernando Torres, Fritz Vahrenholt, global warming, Greenpeace, Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, IPCC, match stats, natural climate drivers, solar cycles, statistics, talking point, tick-box culture
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Where’s the sand? Daily Telegraph, Monday 21 May 2012 Boris Johnson writes… I see the G8 has a brilliant solution to the problems of the eurozone… We are told that the only solution now is a Fiscal Union (or FU). … Continue reading
Posted in Dark Mutterings, Satire, Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Boris Johnson, Daily Telegraph, EU, eurozone, fiscal union, G8 Summit, Greece
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Heavy rain across Britain despite the hosepipe ban Daily Telegraph, Friday 27 April 2012 Flood alerts could be introduced in parts of Britain over the coming days despite the country facing its most severe water shortage for a generation, experts … Continue reading
Posted in Nonsense, Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Daily Telegraph, drought, flood warnings
With one hand behind his back
In today’s Daily Telegraph, David Cameron says he will not rest until people have been put in control of their choices and chances in life. “Brick by brick, we’re tearing down the big state,” he boasts. “I want us to … Continue reading
Posted in Opinion
Tagged Daily Telegraph, David Cameron, EU, talking point
Woke up, fell out of bed …
Gosport fire chief ordered rescuers not to save a drowning man in 3ft shallow lake as they were insufficiently trained. Daily Telegraph, Thursday 22 February 2012 Firemen and police who left a man floating face down in a 3ft-deep lake … Continue reading
Woke up, fell out of bed …
BBC tells journalists to stop calling Abu Qatada an ‘extremist’ as it implies a value judgement. Daily Telegraph, Tuesday 7 February 2012 A British court has called Qatada a “truly dangerous individual” and even his defence team has suggested he … Continue reading
Posted in Satire, Woke up, fell out of bed ...
Tagged Abu Qatada, Andrew Roy, BBC, Daily Telegraph, extremist, radical, satire, value judgement
