</sense>Congratulations on getting through the wormhole to this website. It's a blog that defies the second law of thermodynamics. It started out with maximum disorder and therefore cannot succumb to entropy. It's equal parts dead serious and dead silly. Sometimes, when the hosting server goes down, it's just plain dead. I'm a student of reverse psychology. Don't read this stuff. It's awful. If you do decide to join me in my parallel universe, prepare to travel at the speed of dark...
New Statesman, Saturday 24 February 2012
What began as a revolt against a Tesco job advert which notoriously offered a salary of “JSA + Expenses” has thrown the entire future of the [government's workfare scheme] into doubt. The scheme, in brief, attempts to make jobseekers more employable by offering them “work experience”… The programme is voluntary, not least because participants will only be paid expenses for the 25-30 hours they work a week. However, should they pull out of the placement, for whatever reason, after more than a week has elapsed, they could lose their benefits.
My name is David Winship. I’m a wild nomad from Reading in England. I was born, raised and educated there. I’ve never lived anywhere else and I still live there today. My ambition is to discover the world outside Reading and I plan to visit exotic destinations like Bracknell and Basingstoke.
Most writers are descended from a long line of adjectives, but I’m not. I don’t know how to describe myself. I was well educated but didn’t let it go to my head. You can tell that from my writing. My scribblings are the product of two million years of evolution, but, just like everybody else, I like to think I’m unique. My blog is part of my crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale.
It may well be that my whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
Not many people find their way to this website. I don’t publicise it. Anyway, I’m glad you made it here. I’m truly humbled that you’ve taken the time to read my stuff. You may have landed on something that appears to be trite or even idiotic, but, taken as a whole, there’s a body of work here that I’m really proud of. I’m inclined to downplay its importance in my life, but I consider my writing as my soul, my legacy and my truth.
Man Flu is my new serialised short story for 2013...
A deadly epidemic of Man Flu starts claiming the lives of birds in the West Hill dominion. A magpie known as Pica Pica identifies the problem, but no one believes him...
My next book will be the ultimate key to the map of life, a jeweled window to the soul of mankind, an illuminating journey through the complexities and mysteries of the human condition. In the meantime, just make do with this story about little birdies.
The official page for Earthwatch, the MMBC series which charts the fortunes of the inhabitants of Earth during their annual trip around the star they couldn't be bothered to name in a solar system they also couldn't be bothered to name...
Slightly Surreal
Here is a collection of short pieces of prose, including non sequiturs and slightly skewed surrealist stories. Don't believe me? Well, to prove it, here's a picture of a man being fired from a cannon:
If reading stories is medicine for the soul, it certainly doesn't apply to these stories. Unless you're a hypochondriac. Your ID may be required to check your age...
The Moonwalkers
The only people ever to have set foot on an astronomical object other than Earth...
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This intergalactically recognised award was presented to The Speed Of Dark Blog by The Speed Of Dark Awards Commission.
I am delighted to have been nominated for the 2012 Tony Blair Ducking Under The Bar Award for boldly raising the bar and diving under it. I knew I had the potential to be a great underachiever.
I've racked up another prestigious award - the Eric Morecambe 'Mister Preview' Prize. According to the award citation, The Speed Of Dark Blog contains material that ranks with the finest literary works in history. All the right letters are there, but not necessarily in the right order.
Random aphorism/quote
This is just to draw your attention to a totally awesome feature of this blog. A random aphorism/one-liner/quote now appears at the top of the page AND, if you click on it, you get another one!! Too much of a good thing can be truly wonderful!
You mean the revolt against work. The horror – people are being allowed to voluntarily choose work experience! The left is aghast.