No, no, it’s not wet, it’s, it’s restin’

It emerged today that the EU’s Milk Programme promotes the health benefits of drinking water. Literature for the scheme states: “You may not have known, but a large part of milk is actually water. So, if you regularly drink milk, you can stay hydrated at the same time. When people do not get enough water [they may suffer from] a condition called ‘dehydration’.

Which is strange because just a couple of weeks ago, following three years of deliberation, the EU bizarrely ruled that drinks companies may no longer claim their bottled water products could help avoid dehydration. Manufacturers face two years in jail for breaching the edict.

It’s worthy of Monty Python at its best. Nobody expects the Belgian Inquisition. No, no, it’s not wet, it’s, it’s restin’.


About thespeedofdark

David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

He is currently working on a series of short stories about two extraterrestrials who find the Voyager 1 space probe floating around in outer space. His next book will be the ultimate key to the map of life, a jeweled window to the soul of mankind, an illuminating journey through the complexities and mysteries of the human condition. In the meantime, we will have to make do with these tales about wacky space aliens.

Dave’s blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Keeping both feet on the ground while the mind takes a leap in the dark.
(Please visit again soon. I'll keep the wormhole open.)

Category(s): Opinion, Satire
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